Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose - UPDATE

This book has been extremely eye opening for me. It's forced me to really think about who I am, where we come from, what's out there, and what happens to us in the hereafter. We've only got about 6 chapters to go and then we are done with this book. There has already been talk about what we will do after the book is done. All we know so far is that we are still getting together. We all love our weekly escape into the realms of our minds.

If you are feeling lost or stuck with life or any particular situation, I highly recommend this book. There are parts I feel are too far fetched or "silly" to me, however, I just look past those and take the lessons for what resonates and feels right to me. Bravo to this book and its author. Cheers!

Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose

This book is amazing!!! Ok ok you may be asking "what's this got to do with paganism?" Especially since the book is written by a catholic woman. In fact, it's a book that was channeled through the author. This concert was completely bass-ackwards to me but I won't judge, and so I pressed on. 

I'm reading this book as part of a book club that we formed just for this book. Lol. A friend who read the book a few years ago thought it would be a fun thing to go through with a group. And it has been thus far! We are just starting on chapter 5. This isn't a "pagan" book but it is highly spiritual. 

I highly recommend it to anyone who may be feeling lost or discontent with where their life is but not sure what to do. Happy reading! 

My spirit guide

Right now I'm reading a book on finding and communicating with my spirit guide. I'm quite excited about it. It's something I've always wanted to learn more about. I've only read a few chapters thus far but will report awesome knowledge as I acquire it. ;)

On another note, it's winter here in central Illinois and everyday when I step outside into this frigid cold air, I have to remind myself that the cycle of the seasons is necessary and that I love nature. I work as a pharmacy technician and we are always swamped this time of year due to the flu... Which is on a rampage this year! Everyone is sick! Except me! I haven't been sick in a think 2 years. (Knock on wood) I'm pretty sure I didn't get sick last winter. When you work in the healthcare field, you develop a pretty strong immune system. Well anywho I guess that's it for now. Hope everyone stays healthy out there!

Oestara (Spring Equinox) Celebration

At the Spring Equinox we Pagans, Wiccans, magical folk, celebrate Oestara. Oestara is where the abrahamic religions got the word Easter. Oestara is the germanic name for this holiday. But no matter what name you give this day, it's the Spring Equinox, and a day to celebrate rebirth. Trees are beginning to bud, there may even be some green blades starting to pop out of the ground where tulips will soon be. Tulips are my favorite spring flower. As a child, they were my first sign that warm weather was quickly approaching! My mother had tulips planted in front of the big tree in our front yard. When the weather would start to change, I would run to the front door in the morning to see if the green blades were starting to pop up yet. And when they did, I checked them everyday and would marvel at their progress until finally one morning there would be a bightly colored, dew drenched flower. Ready for a visit from the local bee hive.

The Body Sacred - intro

I am currently reading "The Body Sacred" by Dianne Sylvan. It's a book about improving your body image through pagan-based themes and rituals. I've decided to track my progress here on blogger. I'm also going to be putting the posts on my blog over at WitchSchool International. You can find me on there under the name Jenni if you're interested. If you can't find me, send me your email address and I will send you an invite. I haven't written much on there, but plan on writing a lot more.

Happy Yule!

Tonight I went to Terri's dance studio for a Winter Solstice gathering. It was really great! Ruthie and another lady I didn't catch the name of lead all, maybe, 20 people in a guided meditation. Together, they took us through the darkness of our darkest secrets and bad feelings. We stepped through the darkness and ended up in muck and sludge up to our ankles. This sludge was our regreats, emotional baggage, etc... It was everything we needed to let go of.

The beginning...

I did not wake up one day and think "I want to be a Pagan! I want to be a part of one of the most hated, and misunderstood religions in the country!" No, my journey to this point was much different.
I had always had a "connection" to the earth. I had grown up thinking it was something in my blood. I am vaguely an american indian. I couldn't research that history much. All I was ever told is that the tribe I come from is the White Foot Indian Tribe. Whether or not there still is a tribe somewhere, I haven't the foggiest clue. I googled it once, and got zilch. Anywho, that is where I thought I got it... That warm and relaxing feeling when I walk on grass barefoot, or even rocks. It's hard to explain. It's a very grounding feeling. I wonder if it's similar to that feeling people say they have when they join the church. Not just become a member, but become a preist or nun. They say they "got the call". And I can't help but wonder if it's a similar feeling and sensation.

In 2003, I got married. It was a marriage I knew i wouldn't want to be in forever, but I fully expected to see it through. Yeah, didn't happen. But one afternoon I was flipping through the channels on the tv and saw the title "Practical Magic". I saw it had Sandra Bullock in it and I love her, so I watched it. It gave me a look at real witches. Well, minus all the hocus pocus of hollywood. They referred to something called "The Craft". This made me think of a movie I already owned called "The Craft". Of course, what that movie had in it wasn't anything I wanted to get into. It was a very negative look at the whole thing, however I still loved the movie. I ended up going online and searching "The Craft" for any info I could on the real Craft, that wasn't overflowing in Hollywood crap.
I saw a link to Barnes and Noble website for a book titled The Craft by Dorothy Morrison. Then that lead me to their entire library of Pagan and Wiccan books. I purchased The Craft and began my research into what seemed to be a religion I might be able to finally agree with.
I was getting into Wicca. I really liked it. I agreed with everything! A Goddess and a God! All the energies, etc... I love it all and couldn't wait to learn more!

Then in April of 2004, I had a tubal pregnancy. Long story short, it almost killed me. They told me in the hospital that even though I was already hooked up to IV's and such, they couldn't promise they could save me if it ruptured even though I was already in the ER. They wasted to time getting me into surgery. Right when they had almost everything in place, it finally ruptured sending large amounts of blood throughout my abdomen. But because they already had most of their equipment hooked up and ready to go, it was no problem. While waiting around for the surgery, I was perfectly calm. I wasn't paniced. I was doing just fine.
After the surgery, I thought I should give this god thing a real shot. Maybe church really was for me and I was just too blind or stubborn to know it! So I tried it for a year. I attended church every other Sunday (the Sundays I didn't work). I even helped with vacation bible school that year. But I could never get that warm and relaxing feeling I got from Wicca. I have found that most people find a comfort in God. I didn't. I just felt down right silly for being there. And me being there trying to make it "work" just made me feel like a giant fraud. So I made excuses for a while to my mother as to why I couldn't go. Then I quit all together.

So, I went back to the only thing I had found thus far that I did agree with, Wicca/Paganism. I tried to learn as much as possible, and searched the internet in depth. One of the first websites I found was Witchvox. On that site is where I found the location for our local metaphysical shop, which happened to be right down the street from me!! How did I never notice that before?
The next thing I found was WitchSchool! This is a website that has classes! Real classes! I can take them onlnie at my own pace! YAY! So I dove in head first and emmersed myself with everything WitchSchool could teach me! At this time I had a Basic (free) Membership, but I am not a life time memeber. Eventually I came across a class that would teach me how to make my wand (Wand 101 I believe it was called). Soon after, I had my wand that I made from a stick on the ground. I had never made anything. I'm not really arty.

From there, I learned everything from basic knowledge and history to how to conduct my own rituals. I am pretty good at observing the full moon and new moon every month. I've only half way observed the sabbats though. :-( This is one of my main goals. To go deeper into my spirituality and learn more. To observe the sabbats and esbats regularly. I will also be learning more from different books, and from WitchSchool. Other goals include staying up to date on Pagan news and issues, and I REALLY REALLY want to attend the St. Louis Pagan Picnic next June!
This is the next chapter of my journey...